Label The World

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 17, 2008 by mr_smith

I stumbled across this guy’s site on urban prankster. I love the idea. It’s all about the kind of childlike naievete (spelt right?) that fills me with joy.

Kind of like playing with Lego when you’re 35. It’s a sort of inane and possibly banal thing to do, sticking a label on, y’know stuff. It’s probably pointless, but anything pointless that involves post it notes and sharpies has got to be cool right.

I’m rather hoping that it becomes a sweet trendy underground meme so I can say that I saw it early on.

Anyway. Check it out at labeltheworld.blogspot.com/

Guess which one I sent in…

Don’t even…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 19, 2008 by mr_smith

I guess I don’t really need to say much more.

I’m glad I just have a bike.

vale, old friend

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 13, 2008 by mr_smith
mars phoenix scooping up dirt

mars phoenix scooping up dirt

i must bid a sad farewell to someone who, although I’ve only known him (her?) for such a short time, has become a dear friend. it’s with great sadness that i learn that this long martian winter will be the last for phoenix. it’s a cruel testament to the brutal power of anthropomorphization (is that a word?). giving a probe, essentially a box full of scientific instruments, a personality, indeed its own twitter feed might have seemed like a good idea on launch day, but now. now when we have to say goodbye to the plucky little guy who’s taught us so much about ourselves as the dusty night sky of the oft cruel red planet saps the vital energy needed for his morning recharge and he succumbs to the long martian winter, no more to tell us tales of collecting hydrated silica in the sunshine. now the pain of loss is real. now the mad genius scientists must be lamenting their cleverness.

thanks to our buddy, we now know, or at least are pretty sure, that there was liquid water on mars. wow. watch the tribute video from NASA’s jet propulsion lab. we also know about the slightly alkaline soils near the martian ice caps, and a bunch – that’s right – a bunch of science information about mars. thanks phoenix. thanks for making earth a better place for you, for me, and the entire human race. but especially the children.

what troubles me the most, is that now phoenix has gone silent, there will be an empty unfillable void left in my life. i can only hope that another space probe will start twittering. what’s that? “A new, constantly changing, even disappearing aurora was found in an area predicted to be empty.” who said that?

cassini? is that you? it is you, it is you. now i have two friends in space, cassini, and phoenix. sadly silent, asleep forever on a cold, distant world.

01010100 01110010 01101001 01110101 01101101 01110000 01101000.

farewell friend.

i’ll have a Jack’s Danial on the rocks thanks.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on November 6, 2008 by mr_smith

whiskey

actually, make it a grenfiddich.

happy button, button

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on October 16, 2008 by mr_smith

as it’s mrs smith’s birthday today, there will be a brief hiatus in the fight against river crime.

the sun is out, the sky is blue, no criminal would dare shatter such a moment of beauty to do evil, so let’s all have a glass of champagne in mrs smith’s honour.

hurrah button, you are heaps nice.

Celebrating poetical crafts

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on October 10, 2008 by mr_smith

Yesterday.
International poetry day.
I did nothing, hey.

Inside the bowels of shit city

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on October 3, 2008 by mr_smith

I’m lost deep beneath the streets of shit city. In the sweaty press of flesh where each harried soul is terrified to meet the frightened eyes of another lest the horror of aquiscence consumes them from within. This is clearly not as uncommon an event as I had first assumed. The pools of blood congealing around knee high piles of barely recognisable body parts are the dead giveaway.
I’m startled from my internal monologue by the six foot blonde leaning over me, hunger and madness radiating in equal division from her dead eyes. She is shuffling ever closer with small zombie steps, eyeing my skull with her Gordon Ramsay gaze, eager to remove the delicate frontal lobe to form the centre piece of her man degustation. I only barely manage to escape by endlessly procrastinating until I have no choice but to write something second rate. It briefly catches her simple zombie attention, interrupting her frenzied gorging just long enough for me to dart through the almost closed doors to freedom.

Before me a slimy, moss covered staircase extends upwards through a crumbling hole in the roof. Vines coil menacingly down around the hand rails and tendrils of acrid mist drift too silently across the floor enveloping my cold ankles. It is with great fear that I contemplate the horrors awaiting me on the surface.

this is why i love button

Posted in Uncategorized on September 8, 2008 by mr_smith

I was turning your socks inside out, but i didn’t want to turn it inside out, so i tried to press apple-z, but that didn’t work

I wonder…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on July 28, 2008 by mr_smith

i would like to congratulate mrs smith on her new position. she is now officially boss of the universe. she will, of course, retain her vital role here at head office. she will be performing both roles simultaneously. she’s very clever

i am a twitter

Posted in Uncategorized on July 3, 2008 by mr_smith

because i know that there are litteraly tens of you out there hanging on my every word, starved for information about the minutiae of my amazing existance, here is my twitter.
smith and co. be nice.